Done Another.

Hey guys, it's been a while isn't it?

Well, I went to the bank to do some money transfer to the Institute of French Language but the forms I have to fill were so darn complicated. Thus, I'd straightly bank in the cash into my account and did a Paypal transfer. Things are easier online, although I didn't know when will the account clear and they will send me the necessary documents. Let's just hope it won't be long as the next intake is on 1st of November (duh, I know I can't make my appearance in that class on time).

Guess what? I once thought about applying a visa only when I'm in France. But the guy from the Embassy tells me that the application will take longer and the authorities will investigate deeply towards my application as my first intention entering France was being a tourist.

"of course, you may take the risk, but we from the MFUC will not be able to help for those whom never go through the French Embassy in Malaysia." 
thanks to him, I changed my mind. Anyways, I truthfully wish that the administration thingy will be done A.S.A.P. so that I will not missed the University application dropped on September 2011.

Ta-da!

A wonderful come back of mine. Well, I'm doing real fine, the depression has gone as I'm no longer working in that depressing office. One week I'm unemployed, and my wallet is running out of cash. (there's not much left in the bank account, as usual) Do not ask me I spent them on what, because neither do I got the idea where and when the heck I'd used the money. tsk, tsk. yeah, I'm a poor money saver. Alright. I always say I'm working on my plan yet I never really take any action for it. This time, I had actually made a move by renewed my passport, and translated my birth certificate. Yes, stick to the old plan, I'm still going to France. Relying on my family's financial situation right now, I will only worsen the crisis if I enrol for private college now so why not take the advantage of my father for having friends at overseas and work for them to earn myself some pocket money and support my family a little? Okay, when I say taking advantage of somebody else, it doesn't mean in a negative way. I'll do whatever I can just to entertain people around me, but definitely not in crimes or anything bad. (different story if it brings more and irresistable fortunes) Yeah, I was just kidding, lol. Right, I'm quite sure that all of the relatives got the news out from nowhere and spreaded out faster than I had expected. But until now, as long as the flight ticket hasn't be confirmed, I can't guarantee anything. What I can say now is, like I always said, I will try my best, I will try my best, again, and again. People got no faith in me, my parents, my relatives, my friends, and even myself couldn't assure that I'll be having what kind of life when I'm there since I'm always this joker kind of guy and never take anything seriously. But who knows? The only thing I can assure is, I can finally get out of this crappy life of mine here; no more family arguments, no more annoying sister, no more eyesore peers, and no more lousy BN. If you ask me is there anything that can make me stay, I'll say NO, NO, NO, and I'd like a window seat, please. XOXO.

Slacked.

Bonjour  Peeps, it's been a while since my last post. I'm just to lazy to think and type out what I'd stuck my nose into these days. bloody stomach, since I had skipped my lunch ever since I don't know when I started,  I felt so empty right now. not my mind, but my stomach and it is playing drums like those Bon Odori's.

okay, apparently, I'm still doing the same old boring routine; works, sleeps, and eat. and this is really driving me nuts, therefore, I decided to calls it quit after this month. I'm not proud of this as I'm still stuck at no where and I will lost my income. However, I feel kind of impressive for myself as I can't believe that I had endured this boring-as-hell routine for almost half a year! Anyway, not only I have the intention to quit, they found someone to replace me right after my resignation.

Alright, let's gossip about the uncle, yes, he's an uncle. Well, he's at his mid 30 I guess and obviously he isn't married. what makes him a cool uncle is, he plays online games. But then, there are something I don't like about him either; he talk too much, (I know, like me right?) lol.

Hey serious! I know I shouldn't say this but hell, like I care. I never intended to disrespect the elders but this uncle sure is getting on my nerve day after day. He was like too free that he keep on asking me the questions that I had told him for countless times. okay, maybe he's old so he easily forgot most of the things I taught, I forgive him. But I can't stand it when I was doing my stuffs, he came sit beside me and ask what else is there for him to do. "Hello, you're not ready yet, uncle. you don't even know how to do the easiest work." was what I wanted to tell him so badly.

Never mind, he was just showing his enthusiasm in learning. So, I'm not that pissed. After all, I'm an understanding people. For once my aunt told me, 'guys must get married, or you will be like a weirdo.' now I realized, it's true. I guess it all shine out from this uncle, lol. For your information I'm giving this uncle some training and I can tell how bored is he every time I doing my things while he was just sitting at his own place and staring at me. The feeling is so very uncomfortable, because you know, it's not like I looked attractive or what. It's a bit of insulting. Yeah, I know, I think too much already.!

MTV Worldstage 2010.

no words can describe my feeling for the MTV Worldstage 2010 last Saturday at Sunway Lagoon! I get to see my California Gurl, Wonder Girls and Tokio Hotel! (forget that Bunkace, I'm totally not a fans of them.) and this is so daarn cool I tell you guys!!!!

went out early in the morning to do some shopping and then straightly head to the queue. the queue was so LOOOOOOOONG! plus standing like 2 hours under the hot blazing sun, I got myself some Lindsay's freckles on my back, lol! okay, I am bad. I should stand my place far behind the queue but I ended up in front with my friend and his. and then we sticked together and moved like a tank once the queue started to move. 

the crowd is CRAZY! all pushing and squeezing to get into the park. lucky me for having such big size, no one can move me. once we got into the park and reached the dried pool, we actually standing at a not so bad point to watch the show. the show starts with all the MTV VJ's from Korea, China, and Japan. oh, not to forget Utt, they are so extremely extraordinarily exceptionally good looking!

not bad really the view from where I stood at first, somehow, as time passed by and I got pushed behind, the photos my lousy mobile camera captured these:

my camera already takes poor photos but I got forced further behind and hell, this is one of the lousiest photo I got. WONDER BLURS!! okay forget bout this, it doesn't matter as long as I can get to see my Katy Perry. but then the only pissed thing is my phone ran out of battery before my Katy's performance! how shit!

see that guy standing beside me with the beret? know what he did? after the rain everything is WET, and he's wearing no raincoat that time. so literally he's all wet and soaked, so do his beret, but he swings his beret for so many times that the water "spilled" out from the beret to me and my friends' face. Imagine how hot the sun is when he's standing under when waiting outside the park and he might never wash his hair, it made me feel like puking. burh!

like I said, as long as my California Gurl is performing, I'll stand until I die. I LOVE KATY PERRY.

*I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock~Your peacock, cock, cock* -Katy

20.

if for numerous time things went wrongly, you will eventually realize that you are the source where the problems came from. and for countless time I had cheated myself, telling that everything is gonna be in the way at the end, and keep on living in my dream. cousins' talks on Monday was like a big hit on my head, and it wakes me out of the hell.
yes, cousins' help sure is much better than any of the elder in the family. they do know what's in my mind, not much, but at least they can guess what's inside my head as they are just elder by me few years.


I'm 20 this year. there's still a long way for me to go in order to get what I wanted. as YingFei said, don't live in denial anymore.
I know I've wasting too much of time waiting for an answer that would take me so long. thus, waste no time, I need to confirm everything and work for my future. further my studies will be my first priority. and I know this will cause another commotion in the family. but I'll do well. 


lastly, here's a song for my summer. sharing is caring.

XOXO.

Crisis.

seriously I don't know how to start all these. it's been quite some while since I did my last reading. okay, let's begin with what I'd done lately. being emotional most of the time, like, probably half of the month of July. I tried to be as optimistic as I can, so I do what I can do to distract myself. however, problems seems to be coming constantly, and it worsen my mood more when I wanted to be alone so badly, but I just can't get rid of those annoyances around me. sometimes, I feel like wanted to call someone, but I didn't. I just need more time to think back on what's wrong with me, and what's waiting ahead to be solve by all my own.

I don't know what to do.

I have been having myself in this state for so long. I know I'm not alone, and I know that my family are always there to help me to deal with my uncertainties. but how are they gonna help me, when we never had a real and serious conversation before? and this is one of the factor that pushed me into emoness. repeating the same routines everyday made me had the thought, that life is meaningless. I had waste my years in high school, I had waste my time on fooling around like a kid. and now, everything seemed so out of reach. even though I tried to get them.

my family wanted me to be a real man. and I want it either. In fact, I told myself that I must do something to overcome my family's financial problem at the moment, but I can't do anything. everything is out of order. and it saddening more when I discovered that I ain't going nowhere... I'm stucked. unlike all my cousins that leading a carefree life and pursuing their dreams here, or overseas, I'm going nowhere in no time. I had to say, I'm useless and disgraceful. shame on myself. but I don't care, honestly. and this made my family started to give up on me. I know, my own fault. only if I got strong determination.

you might have no idea on what am I talking about. even myself are not sure what I'm trying to tell. like I said, I'm a mess. and, you'll have to notice by your own if I have any updates next time. I don't wanted to be categorized as an attention seeker.

I'm not Emo.

went to Bon Odori, a Japanese Festival with my cousins last Saturday. it was my first time to be there and danced like a madman. It was, indeed a happy evening. let the photos do the talking and here's some of the photos I stole from my cousin:

arranged in random order, forgive my laziness.

we looked happy right? yeah, we were, definitely.
and, the end of the happy-talking already. don't know what is so wrong with me these days. too much of contagious dramas have been sipped into my brain and now it's showing the sign that I'm getting emotional lately. okay, for your information, my schedule was packed for last two weeks, hanging out with friends sure made my days joyful, however, there's something rolling in my mind. I'm not sure what it may be but it might be David Cook's Permanent-effect still affecting me I guess, lol.

Emo songs are for Emo-s. obviously, I'm not in this Emo group but why am I still listening to them. what the hell... yeah, and I'm obviously in the state of denial. I'm emo, I'm emo, I'm emo.

I'm emo because nothing's going smoothly,

I'm emo because my life's a mess,

and I'm emo because of everything.

lastly, share you guys another emo song, whether you'd listen to it before or not, enjoy the emo-ness.

XOXO, later.

Permanent.

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change
Even if I tell you I won't go away today

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent

I know he's living in hell every single day
And so I ask, oh God is there some way for me to take his place?
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away but still you say

Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary, rest your head
I'm permanent, I'm permanent

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry

okay, I'm not emo. not really. I'm just being sentimental. The song is nice and the lyrics was like cemented in my mind. and I forgot how many times I had hit the replay button for the past minutes. 

Totally random.

okay, apparently I've been snake-d into Malacca and had a blast weekends with friends. although it's not a big group tour and my legs are pain as hell for walking here and there, as long as I'm having fun, it doesn't matter.


well, well, well. I have to say tonnes of things happened. lots of surprises, and lots of frustrations. surprises are not to be reveal, 'cause I've got SOMEBODY watching at the back. so, figure this surprise out by your own.
frustrations? yeah, sure did! watching people around you changed into another person is definitely not an easy one. let's be clear. I do know and I can still accept the fact that it's absolutely normal that a person change, according to the position he/she's in, BUT not into an unreasonable one. Picking up fights with me without letting me know what the problem is will only make me an explosive. got to be frank that till now I'm still kind of pissed. sorry to tell but you'd really got on my nerve these days.


Jennie's going back to Australia very soon. we'd spent time during the trip to Malacca and dinners. although we know each other not that long and we can hardly know what's in our mind, I just get the feeling that she's a good friend. well, for those who know me well, I'd rather die than giving compliments, even if I'm giving one, please note that it is a sarcasm. this time is different. she's a really good friend! I'm saying this because she bribed me with (organic) chocolate from Australia. and guess whose JENNIE~

done, skip to another. okay, I "tweet-ed" lately. although I didn't know how does it works out but I enjoy following my 'best friends': Paris and Perez Hilton, lol. well, guess I'll have to change my name into Piranha Hilton someday later, so I may be famous as them one day. *cough*

 *copyrights reserved.*

Hey guys we are
Paris : Paris Hilton
Perez : Perez Hilton
Me    : Piranha Hilton


......
yes, call me Piranha Hilton, when I'm famous. XOXO

Sibling Rivalry.

yes, here am I, to discuss my family matters, again. last time I've talked about my dad and felt sorry for it, plus I got stabbed by relatives from behind so this time, no more daddy and mommy stuffs today as I finally figured out; do not accuse your parents when you don't know what have they been through. okay, back to the topic, I'm definitely not a kind a patient guy, especially when I'm dealing with my siblings. well, FYI I have got one sister, an elder brother and a younger one, and we do not talk to each other. the conversations between us in a day will never exceed 5 sentences.

for some reasons unclear, I hated them in every way, and the one I hated the most will be my sister. She's an ultimate-completed form of a b*tch. I could never see anyone that is more than a b*tch like her. she's got a big mouth that complains almost everything and I couldn't stand her stupid noises when she's eating. she chews like no one is around and the noise is so darn irritating. and every time I flashed her an angry look, she pretend like she didn't see it. besides, she's got an even uglier attitude. she's selfish, self-centered, fake. and not to mention she's going to get married by September or October I forgot and HELL, I can never imagine she'd actually found a guy that can tolerate with her idiotic-stupidity and nonsenses. I know, sounds disrespectful but I'm just telling the truth.


looking all the people around me can mixed up so well with their siblings makes my hair stand. they can chat and share secrets like friends while we argued and keep secrets to ourselves like rivals. we don't even share things like shirts and soaps and shampoos. not just that, we even got things that we can't lay our hands on. bolsters, pillow, bed and blanket. funny right? yeah, that's rule number one: No Sharing.


seriously I don't know how or when we developed selfishness among ourselves.  I'm more generous towards my friends and almost everyone, but not my siblings. no matter how many times my parents taught me to be kind and generous to them, I just let it slipped away through my right ear. I mean, why should I treat them that good while they treated me badly? especially my sister. scram for all I care!

Back to school.

like I'm the one going to school, lol.

well apparently school day is here, again. and most of my friends are going to further their studies in either private colleges or local universities, while I'm still working to earn myself some little money. even though I wanted badly to go study in school, the only thing that I need to do now would be WAIT. wait, and wait again.

clearly I've told my father that I'll be needing exactly a year in order to reach the requirement of proficiency in French. and only then I may proceed to public universities there, and I got not much time to get my passport renewed, translate my birth certificate and apply for the Visa. oh, and contact the campusfrance guy to help me enroll for a school there.

there's nothing else can I do other than wait. procrastination is extremely common in my family. yeah, I haven't get my bike license yet by the way.

*sigh*

GG-ed.

I got my "bitchiness" from GG.

and I can't missed a single episode of it.

if I'm allowed to watch it 24/7, I'll watch it 48/14.

I love Blair the most.♥

haha, I know! I know it's pretty annoying, and disgusting that a big guy like me are so into GG but, hey, who says guys can't watch GG?

anyways, it's fun to watch. for those who has never been in any drama, yet, this is a good vessel to educate yourself. watch and learn, this can help you to prevent yourself from being drag into all the fugly dramas when you're "old enough", or, at least save yourself from being kill by it, lol.

and so, XOXO

What a life.

"when was the last time you laughed from the bottom of your heart?"

this is definitely not a question for myself since ages ago.

everyone knows that I laughs a lot, but they never doubt whether I'm laughing naturally, or am I just forcing out a laugh.

yeah it's true that no one will ever care, that you're having problems or not.

face the reality. they won't stop moving on just to pay attention on you. wei yoong, it's time to wake up.

apparently I've been thinking too much lately but the fact is I'm getting more and more irritated, and I got the feeling that I'm might not be who I used to be in the past. for quite some while, guilty is all I can feel; guilty for being ignorant, guilty for being arrogant and much, much more. I may not show how I feel in front of the people, but sometimes that feeling hurts me so bad that I would think I should be send into asylum.

no harm to sound serious. I've been in a joker-mode for so long and everyone thinks that I got nothing to worry about. I'm indeed a happy-go-lucky type but I've got some issues to deal with, too. seriously, if I'm really that optimistic, I'll be spending my time in a nuthouse right now.

thing changes, people changes.

all good things will eventually come to an end.

although I tries to enjoy my life all the time, life just can't stop throwing lemon into me. and every time I made it a lemonade, exhausted, here comes another...

I wish I can be.

many asked why would I like to be a chef in the future, well I can't tell, really.
I'm indeed quite fond of cooking and I developed enough amount(?) of passion in cooking when I was still a kid, I suppose? yeah, I've been watching Jamie Oliver cook years ago and he inspired me a lot I tell you guys. for sure, I love cooking, but I hate to wash the utensils and buy ingredients by my own money. and my mom wouldn't allow me to cook no matter what. fearing I would cut myself and burn the whole kitchen. sigh...


anyways, let's hope that I'll be famous one day and I'll be able to cook without washing all the utensils I used and buy all the ingredients by myself, then, I'll cook for YOU!


XOXO

Another Random-ness.

I'm free as hell at the moment. well apparently my blogging urge is fading gradually. and, mind not that, it's another session of random talk, again!

well, it's exciting to see all the fellows my year got accepted into local universities. yeah, "EXCITING" I mentioned just now and I'm obviously being bitter about this. anyways I'm not that frustrated like the others who got themselves accepted in nowhere; what I'd studies in school are equally to nothing at all. not accepted by local universities are not a big smack on my face though. and frankly I'm a bit proud of my results(I got a pass after all), although I should be ashame of it, lol.

football fever. I'm not a big fans of football but I just can't resist myself from watching it and throwing out all the F bombs after seeing my team England did something stupid and missed the goal. oh, not to mention team France broke my heart too after they got a double Zeros. I mean, how could they lost? They've got terror players in it yet they scores sucks! well, what to say? They're old already. *tsk, tsk... poor Cynee, let's hope they can make it through the qualifying round.

Ignorance.

being ignorance's a bliss.


hell yeah, I found this is extremely useful sometimes. for instance, there's someone who commented something nonsense on my page in Facebook and when I replying all the comments and skip his, the next time I get back to that post, his comment would "vanish". how cute of him. I think he just can't accept the fact that he's no longer in my concern. heh, funny.


my dear,what goes around comes around.
enjoy the hit of Karma.

Goodbye grandma.

time flies. it's already Thursday, and 3 more days will be one week after grandmother's death.


well, apparently everyone was in grieve but there's nothing we can do as we've already predicted her death will be soon, right after we've heard the news that she had lungs cancer about half a year ago. and all of us had got ourselves prepared for the worst.


okay, I'm sad too, of course. and although I'm not grandmother's favourites, she did praised me a lot and I treated her with respect.
she was a tough and stubborn woman.


let's go back to Friday where my mum received call from my youngest uncle, saying that grandmother's in critical state now and thus, mum decided go back to Ipoh on Saturday. reluctantly, I agreed at first but now I'm glad, and relieved that I'd followed them. at least I'm with her when she breathed her last breath.


Saturday, when we reached, what we saw was grandmother lying on her bed in the living room with breathing tube inserted. she looked frail and so sick that she can't even open her eyes, or move. uncle said she has been like that after coming back from hospital. she can't eat, she can't talk and it's heart-breaking when I look at her. shortly after our arrival, she was forced to sit and feed with water only. it's been a day since she had her last dinner. mum sat beside her, fed her some water with a syringe. her unconsciousness made my mum worried more, afraid that she can't recognize us so she called her for numerous times and for seconds grandmother opened her eyes and then closed it back again very quickly, mum choked with words and sobbed.


Sunday afternoon, after we had our lunch, the youngest aunt came back, when she discovered that grandma had nothing to eat for past two days, she went furious and cried. yeah, it was tension, we, the youngsters can really do nothing but watch and cry. she asked the ambulance to take grandma to hospital, saying that there got nurses to take care of her. the rest agreed without a word. the ambulance took some minutes to reach (when I said some minutes, I mean more than half an hour). all of us in the living room, watching grandma being checked and then when that nurse came back again, she's gone.


too much of stories, too little time to tell. grandma's only regret was, I think, one of the uncle can't get back on time. yeah, tears shed and now, all her left are memories.




we often says we'll appreciate everything around us but we never did.

Sunday

Stayed at ipoh for few days. Grandma passed away on sunday, approximately 2:30p.m.

Random thoughts.

everyone knows, I'm just way too much of a talker. sometimes, even me, myself can get irritated of me, myself for talking that much. but, I'll have to say, everywhere I goes, there's no silence, and hey, it's a good thing as I keep everyone entertained, or irritated.  okay, I know, not really a good thing to talk that much. so, time to seal off my mouth(and hands) from crapping non stop here.

okay, now back to what I was thinking this few days(or weeks as I don't remember since when I'd been so into thinking something random) what if this, what if that. I've been neglected my brain pretty long ago and now it was like uncontrollable, tonnes of stuffs are being scan and analyze automatically for no particular reasons. there is one thing that gave me some sleepless nights, okay, old case in high school. yeah, I know some are my faults undeniable. but is being straight forward a crime? quite frankly, I appreciate those who speaks truth rather than those who play with words. and I know that no one likes to hear when it is not flattering but does it hurt to know the truths? why they find it's hard to accept criticizes? I don't get it.

story goes on, my days in high school aren't that dull actually. I met friends, I joked with teachers, it was like a little-bit-downgraded version life I have to say if compared with life in secondary school's but overall it's a... well, not bad one. and, great, misunderstanding ruined it all.

time passed, and people changed. as I'm getting older(sounds like I'm already an old man. LOL) I realized, there are all kinds of people lingering around; freaks, fashion icons, good guys and mean ones and what I hate the most will be those people who think they are good in everything. it's sort of frustrating that I can't name out them here. and I'm afraid you guys have guess who they really are 'cause I'm not going to tell, at least I told myself not to get involved in any gossip.

and, I found that saying serious sorry to someone is so difficult! of course I wanted to apologize to some I hurt once but you know, unlike all the western people, I'm living in this hell that never says sorry. even when I got the feeling to be kind to them, ego stops me. damn my stupid all-I-care-is-my-dignity factor. well then, since apologizing is that hard, I decided to give life here a bitchy smirk and continue to be a bitch mean. blame me not, blame the life.

xoxo

Why blog?

okay if someone ask me, "why blog?" I'll say I blog to gain attention from the world.
nah, I blog for nothing. or, more likely, a self-indulgence. LOL
there's so much of things happens and so little time for me to slow down and enjoy! thus, I decided to make notes to remind myself in what I'd actually did and feels in everything. (although I'll only update when I feel the urge to, or when I'm darn free)


what I thought is, memories are important and I'm sure that no one can afford to lose any piece of them.

Another rubbish.

I simply love this picture.
I like the way he knock his head on the bed,
and he's got mental problem, and not to mention his old-man-style-backache.
There's nothing else can make me happy other than seeing this unbeatable-dumbass doing something stupid.

Shino See Chia How, a super duper dumb dumb.

 

Turned 20.

5th of June, Saturday,
 my dear Willie's birthday.

he has been complaining bout he bought me meal for my birthday last year but I bought him nothing in return during his birthday so, for the very first time, I decided to treat him something even better, Japanese buffet in One Utama.(seriously I'm so petty that I never treat anyone a meal before). he said he's an avid bitch so I think this would be the best for him as I think he's going to finish all the food as much as he like, and I can save some money. I mean, hey, it's buffet meal, and you can eat until you explode and I don't have to pay the bill according to the dishes ordered. somehow the price was unexpected and I paid "highly" in the end, all thanks to the King's birthday, the price is higher than the normal one.


for reasons unclear, Willie has been my best pal for already 13 years though we were like some sort of enemy back to the days in Primary One. Oh yeah I remembered. He just can't admit that he lost to me in everything and oh, I mean everything, and I'm pissed off with his mama boy attitude so I attacked him with words. as the result, this spoilt baby called his mom and give me a hell of lecture in school.

it was the old days and after the incidents, we're like brothers to each other til now unlike all the primary school's friends, which I used to labelled them my good friends. pretty sorry that things turned out this way but as I always says, making friends isn't about quantity, is quality that matters.

back to the topic again, Willie,(he hates to hear we call him Willie a.k.a Willy) got himself bunch of food and ended up can't finish them. later, we went for movie.

seriously this is a movie for kids. piglets doing synchronized dance, magic wand and etc. okay, I like this kind of movie. even though I'm a bit old for it. Harry Potter, Narnia, Water Horse, Spiderwick are my favourite movies. and I don't care what Lauren Heng says. he's just jealous of my perfect sense in kiddos' movies. I LOVE NANNY McPHEE.

before movie we went for shopping. Willie's got a magic card,(a card that you can use to buy things without using cash) and he doesn't want to use it much. I called him petty boy.

look at this photo. obviously I'm standing behind, so I'm not the one who comes with the idea of taking picture in the fitting room. I mean showing off their lovely faces in the fitting room. 


oh for reasons unclear, again, I forgot to mention Lauren Heng eh? yes we went for lunch and movie together. he was awkward that time I don't know why 'cause when there's only me and Lauren, he's extremely talkative and bitchy. I think maybe it happened because of Willie-effect. oh Willie I think you should call or sms Lauren to update yourself more often, so that next time he will become a complete bitch like me you.


lastly, xoxo

Bored-ful day in office.

I'm a good boy today.
I've done all the pending invoices and tellied the account for purchasing and sales.
well you see, there's two auditors from Japan I guess came by today in the office and check all the account. I was told by not to go online, as we have to give "good impression" to them, and then I realize, you can finish your job a lot faster if you didn't go online! Yeah like I never knew!


soon enough, I'd issued all the invoices and, ta-da, I got nothing to do for the rest of the working hours. lol
well then, since I'm so bored I decided to sneak online. oh gosh you'll never know how panic I'm when the director's walking here to there. (my pc's facing the darn glass that exposes everything I'm doing).


and apparently, I tried my best not to on my facebook as I don't wanna get distracted even though you can only speak to the wall when you're on it! somehow I on-ed it and close it very soon 'cause there's no any notification that concerns me. check into blogs that I'd lost contact with and I discovered this. how gay! I laughed hysterically when watching it.

calculated, I've been working for 2 and a half months here and at first it's kinda frustrating and annoying, as I'd got to wake up early in the morning and work with no peers. it's boring and has been awfully dull my life became after the first month of working. and now, 2months++ past and feel like already get used to it.... well, frankly, not get used to it actually, I work 'cause I got no more money to be spend. and I got so irritated to accept the fact that I'm poor!!

never mind, time goes by quickly, I'll most probably work until end of the month, or longest, by the middle of July.

Great people with Jerk Parents

they said, "many great people have jerk parents,"
thus, the conclusion will be:

Great people have jerk parents. 

 Lousy people have great parents. 

My parents are neither jerk nor great; and does it mean this makes me an ordinary man for the rest of my life?

but I'd swear I'm going to be famous one day......

Grown Up.

I often argue with my parents especially my father. is there anyone that are able stand their parents when they scolded you for nothing? yes, misunderstanding occurs almost everyday but they never try to communicate, nor apologize when they did something wrong, plus I'm short-tempered and this worsen the situation every time.
about my mom, well, she's not highly educated and that made her a lousy listener so she gives me cold shoulders every time I tend to talk to her. She's sarcastic ! and I know I can't expect her to be sophisticated like some moms out there and in the end I decided to give up in having conversation with her.




As my age increases, my resentment grow as well. leaving home and spend night over friends' place aren't fresh to me anymore. pressures given by the family, not only from parents but from uncles and aunties as well are driving me crazy sometimes. they wanted to sculpt a successful figure in the family so they demands everything to turn up perfectly. I'm not a rebellious kind of person so I listened to them all the time, with a stiff smile on my face but I wonder if they'll ever notice that I know well what am I doing actually?


Growing up in a big family ain't easy. you'll have to care about everyone's feeling and behave very carefully so that you won't be talked behind.


I'm 20 this year. I've been closing one of my eyes all these time, and tried to follow their commands blindly. I know that the intention was good, but I want to do what I like to do. I skipped the family gathering lately as I don't want to be lectured on what or how should I do in order to be success in the future...




and HELL, I hope they won't see this.